The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman

I figured they would be interested in hearing some practical ideas on how to love their children better, and it would also help me to have notes in my email to refer back to. I even regretted borrowing the book from the library instead of buying my own copy, since my habit with useful books is to scrawl all over them for better retention and for future reference.Īs I was finishing the book, I started an email to the parent group at my church to share with them some of my key learnings. This happened a few times, and before I knew it, I was furiously jotting down notes in my journal because I knew I’d be referring back to it. We’d talk, we’d reconsider old understandings and start to form new ones.

He does it out of love, for our well-being, and he wants us to know the whole time that it is all covered in love. And it makes sense–when God disciplines us, he isn’t cold and doesn’t distance himself and just want us to feel bad. But I could see how even I would probably have responded well to that approach as a kid. It never occurred to me to be soft and plushy and lovey during this time, but the examples he gives are totally different from that and give a totally different feel than the strict, stern persona I generally take on when in disciplining mode. I mean, I’m usually more stern when administering consequences. Like if their love language is physical touch, give them a hug and some affirming words or something and then gently give the consequence and then hug again and give affirming words to close. So if you have to give them a consequence, you should sandwich it with love. He says that children will respond better to discipline if their love tanks are full. “Hey so I read something kinda interesting today in the Five Love Languages book. Soon, I found myself relating some new ideas to Ben:

However, I rarely leave books unfinished, and the library due date was approaching, so I pressed on. However, I still felt that it was not a book I’d recommend to someone like me who had already read the couple’s version of the book. I mean, it’s helpful to see how to show love to children in particular by using the five love languages of words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, and quality time. Five chapters in, I was still feeling this way. Still, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to give this book a shot, since it was so highly rated on Amazon. I had already read The 5 Love Languages for couples, and how much more can you really say about this topic? I enjoyed the couple version of the book because it was filled with stories and examples and helped me understand myself, my husband, and the people around me in a different way. I didn’t think I was going to get much out of this book.

The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman